How to deal with Kids
How to handle Kids
Time immemorial people handles kids in their own way or what they have learned from their own childhood experiences/ societal norms etc. And maximum of them handles well in their own way. The people reading this blog may remember that till one or two decades back even physical punishments was considered as norm, and so many friends will say that because of harsh punishments we all grown into successful personas. Its individual opinion.
What was considered as norm earlier like physical punishment now considered by law as CRIME. And actually, speaking I agree with this law. Kids needs to be protected from physical harm. So many of us in moments of heat/ anger lose our Control/ Calm on ourselves and hit the kid with whatever we have in hand. Some time it may be by bare hand, sometime it may with wooden thin stick, some time with kitchen tools (especially lovely mommies’ favorite tool) and sometime even with slipper. Do we realize how hard we are hitting kid? He is very tender, very soft (both inside and outside) he doesn’t have so much muscle strength to withstand our brute force forget about emotional hurt we causes by it.
Visualize a kid, your kid talking gently, doing small acts which when you are calm, you laugh and enjoy his acts. What happens then when same acts become unacceptable by US. Do we realize that kids are very honest, attention seekers and above all innocents? May be few of you don't agree on surface with this generalization of kid’s property, but deep inside you will realize that all of above are true and maybe I missed some very promising properties of them. Yes, one of them is they are our bundle of joy, but wait not only small kids but even grown of adults remain bundle of joy for their parents. Parents always enjoy and relish their kids’ company and achievements even though how small it may be.
Now you all will say all of above is right, but not all kids are same. Not all kids behave in good manner, and study on time or not troubles parents, and others. I fully AGREE with your statement. We all know no person in this world is same as other, everyone has their uniqueness, even in case of identical twins they have different behaviors. So how kids can be different. No person or kids becomes bad when he was born. All new born kids are same bundle of joy form their parents and loved ones. So, what actually happens few year later that one kid becomes WELL mannered and other BAD mannered? What makes one kid GOOD and other BAD. This GOOD and Bad qualities the kids get from mostly parents or their surroundings. Some of you may agree and some disagree, but this as truth as the SUN rises from east. I will explain you how I came to this conclusion.
As kid when they are very small may be till age of two- three years their all mischiefs seem very funny. Even when small kid hit their parent or someone we laugh with joy. When kid demands something and shows tantrums by crying, we fulfill his demands thinking why let the child cry. These small acts become foundations of bigger mischief's and tantrums, which nobody likes. Parents are first idols, our behaviors between ourselves, with other people are closely observed by kids and they try to mimic it in order to behave like parents.
Sometime if someone calls parents with whom they don't want to interact they says to kid tell lie that they are out. Kids learn these tricks very fast as they are growing up and consider it correct thing to lie. These all are just few examples how our kids get influenced by our behaviors and how they follow us. Kids are very innovative; whatever they learn they always try to use it for their advantages.
So, what are solutions??
How to handle kids especially stubborn kids??
As per my experience in handling my own kid and my nephews and my relative kids I had done quite a lot of experiments. I am sharing those ideas below.
1. Give kids unconditional love.
Please don't put conditions for love. Love should be unconditional; it doesn't matter who is other party. Kids as we discussed earlier are tender and without any worldly mischief's or evils. Never ever put conditions for love to kids. It doesn't matter what mistakes they did, but when you love your love should be unconditional.
2. Be honest with kids.
Honesty should be policy of life. Be honest with your all relations and you will be without worry or stress. Be honest all the time. How you can argue with kids about right or wrong when you are standing with wrongs.
3. Be Firm whenever required.
Love kid unconditionally, but be firm when situation demands. Don't surrendered to kids always. So many time kids show tantrums. Don't afraid of what people think or say about you or kid. If he starts crying, start lying of road/ floor for some toy or some other thing, be firm and tell him firmly that his tantrum will not cut ice with you and you will not buy or give into his demand because of his behavior. Kids are very smart and learns quickly your weakness. They utilize your weakness for their benefits. Once they understand that their parents are not any more afraid of their tantrums they will start behaving.
4.Be role model.
Live your life like king but in good sense. Be a king of good habits instead a servant of evil habits. Follow what you preach and preach what you follow. I see when people ferry them to and from schools, they flout rules, thus they are teaching kids to be dishonest and not to follow rules. Be punctual and don't postpone your activities until it requires because of some other urgency.
Give kids good example and they will definitely become good kids, and later on Good citizens.
Please feel free to share your ideas in my comment section. I will be thankful to all for better ideas.
I will deal separately for how to teach kids especially stubborn kids, as most parent struggle to teach their kids.
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